Sunday, July 12, 2009

oh my oh my

It's a disgrace to see how long it has been since either myself OR my sister have posted. I know for myself, I DO have an excuse as grad school has been beyond busy, my first art show is coming up, and oh yes, I'm beginning the process of job hunting. Now, I'm not sure where Heather's been...as far as I know, she may be too busy...canoeing..hiking....or doing other sorts of activities that they do in the wilderness. 
Anyhoo, so here I am, and I must say, as stress and emotions have increased over the past few months since my last entry, my eating has continually taken a down turn.....in times of dire stress and frequent emotional up and downs, I inadvertently switch back to my no eating, no fat, I must deprive myself ways of 'eating'. Why do I do this? Not sure. Although, not having any money and giving all my financial resources to Drexel University doesn't help. Currently buying an apple seems like a splurge.
Nonetheless, I know its not healthy. I feel terrible and constantly deprived when I put myself through that, and in addition, my running always takes a huge hit. I begin to run because I feel I HAVE to, and lose the passion I've always had for it. I can't live without my running. It's my only way to clear my head of all my negative thoughts and feelings, clear out the cobwebs and spend some quality time sorting things out. 
My mindset has to change.
I constantly need help with this when I revert to my old methods, and usually Heather is there to put me back on the right path. I've begun the process by introducing something back into my diet, that two weeks ago, I probably would have shuddered to let it slip past my lips, or waited too long and eaten an entire jar in one seating. 
The goodness that is Almond Butter.
For the past week, I enjoyed this goodness every morning, and after I have let go of the tiny voices in my head, began to thoroughly enjoy it and look forward to it. Another benefit? I think since I've added some sort of fat back to my diet, my skin, hair, and nails have dramatically improved in only one week! It's a small step, but, I have to start somewhere right? Does this happen to any of you? Any words of wisdom or advice for a severely poor graduate student?